I can’t believe I’m actually writing this! It’s hard enough to just say it… let alone see it in black and white.
MY ELDEST IS STARTING SCHOOL TOMORROW!
My tiny, ex premature, 4-year-old (bigger) baby boy is off to primary school tomorrow to start his 12 year school experience in Reception. From tomorrow, I have lost him to the world of education. And I can’t lie, I’m terrified for him.
I’m a thousand percent sure he will LOVE school. The socializing, the playing and even the learning aspect. I’m SURE he will love it and will settle quickly… but this doesn’t stop me from worrying about the little boy who has been through hell and back already.
I worry about him not being able to understand, him not listening (let’s face it, he doesn’t at home!!!), him being bored, him not ‘fitting in’ – I’m worried about it all!
I’m most anxious about the other children’s questions. ‘O’s’ ‘life’ is his life, he doesn’t know ANY different. His scar on his chest is ‘normal’ to him, he wouldn’t even think twice looking at yours or I’s chest and not seeing exactly what he sees. His ‘Peggy’ (Gastrostomy tube/Feeding tube) in his tummy is ‘normal’ to him, he happily parades about with it hanging out! His squeaky breathing, his sweaty skin, his tiredness and inability to walk far is NORMAL to him! I’m worried that other children won’t understand the way ‘O’ is and what is ‘normal’ to him. I’m worried that the teachers looking after him wont wrap him in the cotton wool and bubble wrap I wrap him in. He’s so utterly precious and I worry that he will be forgotten about in the busy-ness that is the first year of ‘big’ school.
He’s lucky enough to be going into a class where a lot of his play school friends are joining him. He’s also lucky enough to be going into a class where the teacher HAS been asking above and beyond questions – What’s normal for ‘O’? What’s unusual? What should she look out for? Etc.
I’m hoping in a couple of months I will be able to tell you all about how much he’s thriving and how much he is enjoying school. WE CAN ONLY WISH & PREY!
I will also share a picture of my bigger baby on his first day of school with a little thing I created for him which I can recreate year after year!
Lots of love,